Webster’s Dictionary defines balance as “1. an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady. 2. a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.”
Well, for the most part, I am upright…steady can depend on the moment! HA! So, I’ll go with definition number 2. “A condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions”. I don’t think Mr. Webster intended to delve deep into the science world when he penned the different elements portion of his definition, so I’ll take it to mean the different factors that we are faced with daily.
Most know that I’ve been fortunate to work from home over the last 20 years, however I decided to change that several months back when an opportunity arose that I felt lead to follow. I have been blessed with a job at a wonderful school, working with an incredible staff and having the HUGE blessing of being involved in the lives of some amazing kids…I am blessed, to say the least. I also, still continue to work with my Nutritional Cleansing Clients as that is so rewarding to me as well (both emotionally, and financially).
So….why BALANCE, you ask? Well, the problem IS, in fact, balancing what my life has currently become. We are at a completely different stage in life. Three kiddos now legal to drive, yikes…a kiddo in her second year of college who is now, thankfully, much closer to home and continuing to bloom where she’s planted, a senior in high school who hopes to head off into the military after graduation, a junior who is VERY active in volleyball (like big sis before her), and the only non-driver, who will enter high school in the fall. We are faced with mom working outside the home for the first time EVER, alongside with my work I do at the ballpark for volleyball. WE ARE BUSY AND CHAOTIC AND STRUGGLING TO FIND BALANCE (at least I am).
(Girly girls photography-credit….look her up on Facebook, she’s FABULOUS)
“a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions”….hmmm, so all those crazy aspects of my life should be equal or in their correct proportions…..RIGHT!!!!
I’m not gonna lie…the last few months have been ROUGH, I mean REALLY ROUGH…the urge to run away to a tropical island or an ocean front hideaway has been very high…but, I’m an adult (or so my drivers license says), and that’s not how adults act…at least not sane ones (but that’s a whole other blog subject), so I’m back to struggling to find the balance…the balance that will help make my life semi-normal again.
I began running last year, more walking than running, but it has progressed into something I literally crave on a daily basis….like, I get bitchy if I don’t get a chance to do so…..balance….
My kiddos are used to a mom who’s home ALL THE TIME…who can run the forgotten lunch or paper up to the school, who can move their laundry and finish it while they’re in school, who is home and able to keep things running as they should, who can stay up late at night because she can nap during the day if the need hits……BUT, that’s not the reality anymore! The NEW reality is mom STILL expected to do all she used to PLUS work a full time job plus a part time one she loves while everyone else carries on as they have all their lives…balance…
I know 90% of this is my fault. My fault for not creating them to be more self sufficient, for having more responsibilities, so this is my cross to bear. But, we are back to balance, and the need for it, desperately, in my life….
My husband is used to a wife who is able to accomplish things during the day, things like grocery shopping, getting cars inspected/oil changed, meeting repair men….balance…
My animals are used to me being home with them for most of the day, and look at me quizzically when I’m grabbing my things to go…balance…
My mother is used to me being able to go to lunch with her during the week, and my being able to be there anytime she needs me…balance…
So, I’m back to struggling to find the BALANCE that will make my life be back to some semblance of normalcy, at least for this stage of our lives…..thanks for listening!